How to recognise an Asexual Commitment Phobic

Heterosexual , homosexual and bisexual. We all know who these are. But there are a different kind of species too- the asexuals. Asexuals are super sexy people who just don't find sex sexy enough. Add to this being a commitment phobic; which doesn't necessarily mean that an asexual is a philanderer. Commitment phobic people don't avoid commitment because they think "oh my god! I won't get to flirt with hot girls/guys anymore"! OK, In certain cases they might think so. Commitment phobic people avoid commitment because they don't wanna get ditched, get hurt or go through all that devdasgiri that lovers go through.

I am an asexual commitment phobic. I find the idea of physical proximity uninteresting. I don't think I am ugly. I am not insecure. I am more confident about myself and my body than most people I know. Yet getting close is just plain boring. For some time, I believed I might be gay, but then even girls didn't turn me on.  I thought I was the only one of this kind until I read about Franz Kafka. That just means super awesome people are like this! I don't know what exactly went on in Kafka's life and mind. See, he died much before I was born. I never got a chance to interview him with all the great interviewing techniques that I am taught at college everyday.

How to recognize an Asexual Commitment Phobic  (ACP)- Best way to spot such people are through their conversations - So here's a sample -

Friend - So , who are you dating now ?
ACP - ummmmmmmmm, well....... , a lot of people!! 
Prospective lover - So , can we kiss ?
ACP - ha ha ha! (artificial laugh) ! Yeah sure! (changes the topic)
Prospective lover -  I will miss you . 
ACP - ha hah ha ! Why will you ? (says bye)
Super serious prospective lover -   I want to marry you . 
ACP -   haha haha haha haha haha haha 
Super serious prospective love -   Don't laugh ! 
ACP -  Can we talk later? (still finds the concept hilarious) 

So if you come across such a person, don't dismiss her or him as being a flirt who clings to his/ her freedom. These people just fake it. And sometimes, to extremes. Who wants to get hurt anyway! 

Rambling - Grief is a luxury enjoyed by the unoccupied.

In one of the many late night discussions with my eccentric cousin, Farah, she came up with a theory, that grief is a luxury enjoyed only by the free. At that point of time I was arguably the most free person on earth (and also the saddest!) . I believe being free is more a state of mind than a state that bows to the physicality of time. If you actually want to do something, you get the time to do it, come what may.

Around seven months after that discussion, her words make complete sense to me. There is stuff that I want to be sad about, I should be angry about. But, I don’t feel anything about it. There’s a friend of mine, Prerna , who thinks I am always happy. That is not true, it’s just that I am not sad about anything. Though, I would like to feel sad one day; may be it will make me feel more alive or something.

 I avoid everybody who I am actually attached to; like my mum . She thinks talking to me has now become more difficult than talking to the Prime Minister. Or my sister , who believes I will end up lonely like Rekha or Parveen Babi ; as I am a commitment phobic and the guys I am attracted to, are just good looking faces fixed on 6 feet tall torsos . I don’t know them . I am sure they don’t know me either. I don’t want to know them because there’s no point in it. I dream about my cat every night. Yes, every night. Shouldn’t I be dreaming about pretty landscapes and romantic rendezvous at this age ?

 The truth is that I am not that busy, I am not free either. But, when u are a part of a college like Xavier Institute of Communications, you can have anything but time. I just don’t have the time for emotions. I know it sounds so weird. But, it’s true. Funny thing is that I am happy. And it’s not shallow happiness. I am actually happy, or at least I think so.

Avada Kedavra Pimple

Today is the day. The day you have been waiting for weeks that seemed like years. The guy you have been crushing on, finally asked you out and you are meeting him for dinner. YAAAY! Excited! Me too! So, you wake up all happy . Sleepily you get into the washroom and start brushing your teeth . You gaze into the mirror and there you spot it . The tiny red , round shaped monster named 'pimple' on your left cheek staring right back at you. You feel so doomed .And you know it's going to be a bad bad day .

We all know we should keep our skin healthy . Eat the right kind of food. Avoid junk food .  Cleanse, tone, moisturize. Never sleep with makeup on . And this goes on and on .

But , if you have a lifestyle like mine, you hardly get the time and you don't have the energy to put in the effort even when you are a beauty freak . You eat out 3 times a day . Drink more coffee than water. There are nights when you are too tired to wash your face and you end up sleeping with make up on. You can't change your crazy lifestyle in a day or the humid Mumbai weather.Actually you can't change anything in a day . So,you can go to your date dressed like this -- 

Yes, how mean of me !  :P But if you don't want a similar attire for the next date try the very simple three products that have helped me a lot .

 1. Tea Tree Skin Clearing Facial Wash by The Body Shop- This is a miracle face wash . It feels so cool and refreshing when you wash your face with it. It reduces breakouts . Also, it has minimized the number of whiteheads that I used to have . Priced only at Rs . 445 ; the bottle lasts upto 2-3 months . Its worth it . For more info log on to http://www.thebodyshop.in/product_detail.php?prod_id=1040&cat_id=4&sub_cat_id=49

2. Dermi Cool Prickly Heat Powder -  I am not kidding . Dermi Cool is just not another talcum powder. It's an Ayurvedic preparation . At night after washing my face and putting my night cream, I apply Dermi Cool to all the oily areas of my face . This soaks up the excess oil . And I wake up pimple free in the morning . Priced only at Rs. 60 for 150g ; you can find it at a grocery near your place . Remember its not just a powder , it's "A Propriety Ayurvedic Medicine'. :)

Even after using these religiously; if, something like this happens ---

Don't worry I got the magic cure for it . The third product I swear by -

3. Nilac Gel - You did everything to keep your skin porcelain a la Katrina Kaif ; still you ended up having a pimple ; Nilac Gel becomes your saviour. It's a Clindamycin Phosphate and Nicotinamide gel.  You can get this at the chemist near you. It reduces the size of the pimple by half (atleast in my case it does ) in a night . Priced approx  at 70 INR or so , this product actually works .


Have a happy pimple free day . 

So you thought a pair of jeans was the most comfortable yet stylish thing in your wardrobe ? Time to think again !

Your favorite pair of denims has always been your saviour . It can make you look hot , chic, casual , laid back, as and when required. But there's something more comfortable , equally stylish and 'super cool' in my opinion that has been doing the rounds on the runway in the past few months .

The Palazzo Pants - Don't frown . I am explaining what these are . Palazzo pants are basically a cooler version of your daily pyjamas . These are loose pants which flare at the end , see the picture below . NOTHING IS MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THESE. And i mean nothing (excluding being bare bodied).

Picture Source : http://www.thefashionpolice.net/

Not only these look fantabulous . These are great for days when you want to look casual but stylish . And for days when you have got skin rash or something ! Trust me. I remember buying my first pair when I developed food allergy (actually I have been wearing it for years , just didn't know what it was called.) . Even celebs like Anne Hathaway(left in the pic below) and Kourtney Kardashian (right) are wearing these.

Cheap buys at : Hill Road , Bandra , Mumbai

Sarojini Nagar , New Delhi

My anecdote - So i was in class 10th . And I had this really cool pair of purple and pink palazzo pants (yeah i was style crazy even then!) . Getting ready for Eid (the festival I celebrate, among many) ;I wore heels with it (yup, i wore heels even when i was 15, so ? ) . I in all my stylish glory started descending the stairs of my house . And wham bam! I fell the entire length of the stairs . The heel of my shoe got stuck in the flare of my pants . So when wearing palazzo pants with heels be cautious :P.

How to restart your stagnant blog .

OK . Let's start. When I opened my blog it read "On Blogger since September 2007; Profile views - 135 " .I have insignificant number of posts that nobody read . I don't know whether people will read it even now . But, I have to try . Looking at my history , you can know I am not a very active blog person . Even being a big time self obsessed female that I am , my display picture here is months old (yeah , thanks , I was pretty even then!) That means I am a 'very experienced' person to advice you on how to restart your blog. Your reason for starting or restarting the blog could be any , mine was getting a decent grade in the online journalism module . So here I am . Super ACTIVE this time .

Now tips on how to restart your blog -

1. Drink Coffee :P ( that's the first step of starting anything ; though not necessary :D)

2. If you want to continue with the theme you chose years ago , cool. If not , start afresh .

3. Think of what you are good at . And then write about it. I am good at gibberish . So, doing that!

4. If you don't have Einstein kind of knowledge of any subject or 'white swan' kind of passion for anything; keep the subject of your blog really vast . Like mine is "Gloss to Global Warming!" . This will allow me to write about everything without people accusing me of going off the subject .

5.Get started now! Drink Coffee!